South Beach Talent On Ice

Well, LeBron, things are pretty good for you so far. It’s a shame you have a game tonight. You’re going to miss a fine show. Tonight, the talent-laden Flyers are coming into your new home and taking on the Florida Panthers.

Shit, man, do you know what you’re missing? You’re missing a busted 2nd overall pick capable of getting a Gordie Howe hat trick. Do you even know what that is? Do you even know who Gordie Howe is? You’re missing a seeing a real captain, one who leads by taking the helm and coming through in the clutch. You’re missing a group that plays such good team defense that it barely matters who matches up with who. You’re missing one of the highest scoring attacks in the league. You’re missing a pair of fun goalies, one who’s having an awesome resurgence and another who speaks no English and scares pucks away from his cage.  You’re missing a player that can do magic on ice. Not David Blaine illusions, but actual magic. He can literally make puck bunnies appear and disappear. You’re missing another trio that was randomly thrown together during a crucial playoff run and has managed to stay together and thrive night after night.  LeBron, tonight, you’re missing a lot!

But Flyers fans, we can sit back and enjoy the show. Last time we played the Kittens, things didn’t go too well. It was a 5-0 embarrassment, that should not have happened. It was the last day before X-Mas break, and the Flyers fell flat on their faces. Not exactly what I expected, but then again, nothing to be surprised about either. The Rat Trick feels we’re not the Bullies anymore (he also has a man crush on Kris Versteeg). He may be right. We don’t win through physical intimidation any more. We haven’t for a long time.

 Still, anything short of a sound victory tonight is a disappointment. The Panthers are a shaky, inconsistent club. They still don’t have anybody to fear, aside from their goalie. If we lose to them again, it’s a major fluke. If the Flyers come out flat, I’ll be surprised. After last nights win, this club should be energized. It was only a shootout, but we finally got the 2 points. Just keep at it, keep racking up points, keep the lead in the East. I know it’s hard to find motivation at this point, when everything is going so well. How about this, anyone who plays like shit, is responsible for dragging Coatesy out of the bar when he’s sure to get bombed after the game.

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Tags: David Blaine Drunk Florida Panthers Gordie How Hat Trick Gordie Howe Kris Versteeg Lebron James Miami Heat Philadelphia Flyers Rat Trick Steve Coates Tampa Bay Lightning

  • Frank

    Man crush on Versteeg? Lol. That’s pretty funny. Actually it’s funnier how a guy goes from a Stanley Cup winner, to a doormat like the Leafs, the your boys give up a 1st and 3rd round pick form him. He’s a decent third line player. Maybe his Rap act got Holmgren all excited.

  • Eugene Markman

    Well I’m hoping for Versteeg’s Stanley Cup Championship Rap Part II to come out this summer.