May 8, 2012; Philadelphia, PA, USA; New Jersey Devils center Adam Henrique (14) screens Philadelphia Flyers goalie Ilya Bryzgalov (30) as the puck gets past him for a goal by Devils left wing Ilya Kovalchuk (not pictured) during the third period of game five of the 2012 Eastern Conference semifinals at the Wells Fargo Center. The Devils defeated the Flyers 3-1, to win the series 4 games to one. Mandatory Credit: Eric Hartline-US PRESSWIRE

BuzzBag Volume 6: Anchorman

FINALLY, FLYERS NEWS. Sweet, sweet Flyers news, oh how I’ve missed you. For those of you who were stranded on a tropical island with no access to the news, the Flyers signed Wayne Simmonds and Scott Hartnell to 6 year deals. Good deals for two great guys that fit the Flyers mold perfectly, and will help Philadelphia chase the Cup.

But on to the questions…

@JeffBaumann:Pick 3 Union, Eagles, Phils, Sixers and Flyers players, each, to fight. Who would it be, and who would win?

This is very reminiscent of the Anchorman news battle where Luke Wilson gets his arms chopped off and Brick stabs someone with a trident. An all out duel to the death for Philadelphia Sports supremacy. For the Union, give me Gabriel Farfan, Gabriel Gomez, and Jack McInerney. If I could chose both Farfans I would, but Gabriel is easily the most physical. He’s got a thing for those two footed challenges, and he’s always in the middle of every scrum. Gabriel Gomez provides some size in this brawl, plus he’s about the only guy on the Union tall enough to ride the big kid rides at 6 Flags. McInerney is a very physical guy who doesn’t take crap from anyone. Expect him to do some serious damage against the rival Philadelphia Teams. For the Sixers, give me Andrew Bynum, Arnett Moultrie, and Kwame Brown. The Sixers went with a lineup of almost all 7’0″ guys here, which could give them quite the advantage. Although, there might be a little friendly fire here, as nobody in Philadelphia want to play with Kwame Brown, and Moultrie or Bynum might take advantage of an opportunity. With the Eagles, they’re stocking up on Offensive Linemen: Jason Kelce, Evan Mathis, and Danny Watkins. It’s pretty hard to stop three 300 lb. linemen, but if there’s any group of guys who could do it, it would be the Flyers trio. They’ll be bringing out Zac Rinaldo, Jody Shelley, and Defenseman Luke Schenn. Three big guys who love to hit, and Rinaldo and Shelley certainly love to fight.

However, you have to give the win to the Eagles here. It’s hard to stop a former volunteer firefighter (Watkins), someone who works out with The Rock (Mathis), and the most ferocious beard of all time (Kelce). Plus, they’d probably tweet the entire time too.

Holy Beards. Mandatory Credit: Evan Habeeb-US PRESSWIRE

@MBrad1316: Is L.Schenn overrated, or underrated? It seems half of Toronto says he is a liability, while the other half says he is great.

Neither. It’s hard to say a guy is overrated or underrated when he is just 22 years old. When Toronto drafted him with the 5th pick in 2008,  they immediately threw him into NHL action. Try going from playing with the Keolwna Rockets of the Western Hockey League to playing up against  Jarome Iginla and the Sedin twins in just one offseason. Granted, he has been in the league for 4 seasons, but he has shown signs of improvement. His offensive production has risen (and it still has much more room for growth), his goal differential has gone from -12 in his rookie year to -6 this past season, and he amassed 270 hits in 2011. If given the chance to pair up with the great Kimmo Timonen, his play would increase dramatically. Schenn has needed a #1 Defenseman to play with to help his play grow, and eventually develop into a #1 himself. He’s certainly capable. If he can learn to run the Offense from the point, he could develop into a Chris Pronger-esque player. However, he needs to seriously cut down on the mental lapses. There are times where he isn’t all there, but that’s what happens with young players. With age comes maturity, and Schenn will definitely improve this season.

@CubeSide: Because NHL 13 is probably the closest thing we will get this fall, how the hell is B. Schenn rated higher than Scooter?

I’m gonna assume by “Scooter”, you mean Sean Couturier. According to EA Sports, Schenn is rated a 78 and Couturier a 77, so I don’t necessarily see the big deal. But, the Overall Ratings don’t necessarily mean as much as their certain attributes. I do see why Schenn is higher than Couturier though. Although Couturier had a higher points total last season, Schenn was one of the top prospects in the NHL before the start of last season. Although a broken foot limited him to 54 games, it’s conceivable that he’d have a higher point total than Couturier. Also, Coots had just 4 points in the Playoffs to Schenn’s 9 points. I believe the guys over at EA think Schenn will have a better season than Couturier, and that makes a whole lot of sense. While only entering his second full season, Schenn has seen NHL action since 2010. He’s better adjusted to the pro game than his counterpart, but that’s no knock on Couturier. They’re games are continuing to develop, and in a few years, I’d put money down that they’ll both be rated at least a 90.

@GoingHard_Inger: Which individual members of the Flyers would be cast as Ron Burgundy, Brick Tambland, Brian Fantana, and Champ Kind? 

Claude Giroux as Ron Burgundy- I guess you have no choice but to cast Giroux as Burgundy. Ron is the head honcho at Channel 4 News, and Giroux is certainly the guy in Philadelphia. There is nobody who commands the attention of a room more than Giroux. He’s a dashing young man with incredible skills on the ice, and Burgundy has skills behind the news desk. Burgundy has 5 Emmy Awards for his time with Channel 4, and if Giroux could  continue his incredible play, he might be headed down a path for multiple MVP awards. Although, at some point you have to distance Giroux and Burgundy. Ron is incredibly misogynistic, and methinks that Claude Giroux has zero problems with women. Just read his article in Cosmo (yes, he actually did that). I also think Giroux knows better than to drink milk on a hot summer day in San Diego, as well as not throwing a burrito at Jack Black. Poor Baxter.

Ilya Bryzgalov as Brick Tamland- Brick and Bryzgalov are probably more alike than most realize. Although Tamland is a good guy, he’s got some bolts loose upstairs. He doesn’t know how to love people, has an IQ of 48, and killed a man with a trident. If he wasn’t already messed up, committing murder will probably do that to you. If you just listen to an Ilya Bryzgalov press conference, he’s a little…quirky. His comments are a little bizarre and certainly doesn’t know how to say the right things (and neither does Brick). Bryz believed that the Flyers would have a better chance of winning the Winter Classic without him, and Brick Tamland thinks that North Dakota is “the Middle East”. However, Tamland went on to be President Bush’s top advisor, and Bryzgalov could develop into a Stanley Cup winning Goalie.

Zac Rinaldo as Brian Fantana- Rinaldo has to be the most cocky guy in the Philadelphia Flyers organization. He carries himself with a certain swagger, and his “Oh that it’s it ayyyyyyyy” is just nonsensical, like Fantana’s “Sex Panther”. If it works 60% of the time all the time, it doesn’t quite work that well.  Fantana believes he’s quite attractive, while he looks like he has a ferret on his lip, and a fur coat on top of his head. The Flyers resident bad boy has an important job on the ice, but he seems to think he’s a whole lot better than he really is.

Scott Hartnell as Champ Kind- Kind and Ron Burgundy are almost inseparable, and so are Giroux and Hartnell on the ice. In his first season as linemates with Giroux, Hartnell truly came into his own last season. He led the Flyers with goals last season, and set his own career high with 37. With Giroux looking pass first, Hartnell was on the receiving end of some great passing. Hartnell and Giroux make a great tandem, and almost as good as Kind and Burgundy. Wherever Ron went, Champ was always close behind to help him. Before leaving Channel 4 for the NFL Network, Kind and Burgundy spent many great years together making magic in the news studio. With the 6 year extension given to Hartnell, he and Giroux should make some magic on the ice.

Thanks for reading. If you’d like to participate in the next BuzzBag, make sure to follow me on Twitter @JakePavorsky.

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