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Fat Chicks and Mopeds

Most of you heard the old joke, about what fat girls and mopeds have in common. Both are fun to ride, but you don’t want to be seen in public with them. That same thing goes for last nights “game” against Tampa.  Sure, an 8-7 score seems cool, but that’s not what we really needed to see. The only time I’d be ok with a score like that is if it’s the final score when we clinch the Stanley Cup.

First, our goalie situation has gone from stable to “Shit! What now?”  After so many games in a row, we figured it was time to rest Bob and give Boucher a chance. Nope. We threw a young, still inexperienced, and tired goalie out there. He got shredded, and so we turned to the backup. He, too, met the cheese grater and looked just as bad, if not worse. He gave the team zero confidence.  Now, what the hell do we do with hmi. Can we EVER rely on him? I don’t know anymore. And Bobrovsky has looked shakier and shakier the last few games. How much of a break does he need?

And now I interrupt this post to give you fair warning. Our Fansided editors do not censor us.  They allow us to write whatever we want.  But, they tell us that if we want our stories to get picked up by other media outlets, that we need to keep them clean.  This post, is not intended to meet those standards.  So, if you are offended by vulgar language, click here. If you want to see other people flip shit at some point today or tomorrow, click here.  Otherwise, read on.

What the fuck was that shit about. Best fucking defense? Where the fuck did you see any fucking defense? That was abso-fucking-lutely horrible. How do you let Steven Stamkos rip uncontested shots at our fucking goalies.  The dude isn’t that new that the league doesn’t know about his strengths. He’s got a wrister better than Carter’s. You morons are not supposed to give him open looks at our goalies because he can almost always hit his target.

Speaking of the fucking goalies.  The best goddamn thing they can hope for is shots from the top of the circles with nobody screening them. They let in at least 3 goals like that.  No matter how hard the fucking shot, that’s the easiest thing to stop. Except for last night. Boosh and Bob both waved at pucks as they sailed into the top corner. Both of those fuckers had Leighton disease last night, dropping to their knees and exposing the top shelf. Rebound control wasn’t great either. There were at least two goals that were results of putbacks because pucks were left sitting in the crease. And the whole time, where is the fucking defense? Aren’t we supposed to be rocking anyone that gets near the fucking crease.  Aside from Meszaros low bridging somebody, and two nice Matt Carle hits, there was no physical contact in our end.

Offense: can’t complain when you score 7 goals. some of them were pretty nice. It’s not fair to want more, that should be enough to win a game. But it’s not like Tampais known for great defense.  Their offense should be a lot happier than ours. If there’s anything to be pissed about, it’s the powerplay.  Once again, we look like horse shit. We’ve gone back to the same lazy habits that we had 3 weeks ago. No screens, too much perimeter passing, weak forechecking, and too few shots on goal.  What the fuck happened? And after all the free-wheeling and scoring at will, why couldn’t we manage to get one freaking goal in the third. Each team had a touchdown after two periods, and they’re the ones coming through in the clutch. That’s not supposed to happen. Not to this group. Not this year.

We lead every damn moment of the game. Every time they tied it, we took the lead.  They played last night, and coming from behind all night should have worn them out.  Our talent alone should have worn them out. How do we lose a fucking game like that? Here’s a list of leads that we blew, 2-0, 3-2, 5-3, 7-5. Threw of them are two gol leads.  Here’s how long each of them lasted: 3:33, 6:07, and 9:32.  That’s pretty damn pathetic. So again I say, what fucking defense.

  • Stamkos: career high 5 points (3 goals, 2 assits);
  • St. Louis: 5 assists.

Not even Sunny or League were able to lift me up after that bullshit.

Now we pick up the pieces, and try to get our shit together against Washington. Good fucking luck guys.

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Tags: 8-7 Andrej Meszaros Brian Boucher Jeff Carter Matt Carle Philadelphia Flyers Sergei Bobrovsky Steven Stamkos Tampa Bay Lightning

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