Philadelphia Flyers Fan Hell

It’s a tough time to be a Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Pittsburgh. It’s a personal struggle with the Penguins, the Stanley Cup, and a stinking flower

First, a bit of background. For personal reasons, I have been living in Pittsburgh the last year and a half or so. For similar personal reasons I will also be departing soon, which probably can’t come soon enough.

It has nothing to do with being in Penguins country. For instance, did you know that Pittsburgh is the second least sunny major city in the United States? I had no idea, although when you move here you notice pretty quickly that it’s always grey. It’s strange that everyone knows that about cities like Seattle and Buffalo, but Pittsburgh does not have that reputation. My theory is that the city was so polluted for the first half of the twentieth century with smog that no one noticed.

So while I have made some friends here, I won’t be weeping when I move in about 2 weeks. I’m very busy trying to squeeze in a lot of last minute stuff right now, and one thing that popped up the other day is the rare bloom of the “corpse flower.”

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Yes, there is a flower generally referred to as the corpse flower. It doesn’t bloom very often, and only blooms very briefly, but when it does it smells like death and rotting flesh. The Phipps conservatory in Pittsburgh has one of these rare flowers, and it seems perfect timing that this rare bloom of stinking nastiness occurred in Pittsburgh on the same day that the Penguins were attempting to clinch another Stanley Cup.

I went to check this event out the other day. Personally I thought the smell resembled old chicken breast wrappers. Like when you buy some chicken breasts, cook them, but leave the wrapping in the trash for a few days. Now, I’ve never eaten Penguin before, but I presume it tastes a lot like chicken. It is also fitting that I can link this experience with the equally disagreeable taste of watching the Penguins go for the Stanley Cup as the city celebrates.

So this brings me to Game 5 of the Finals, which occurred last night. There was definitely a lot of buzz in the city. Penguins jerseys and shirt-seys were everywhere, and there was certainly an air of expectancy. Penguins fans congregated outside of the arena hours before game time, expecting to celebrate another Stanley Cup.

Jun 9, 2016; Pittsburgh, PA, USA; A general view as hockey fans gather in an outdoor viewing plaza before game five of the 2016 Stanley Cup Final between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the San Jose Sharks at Consol Energy Center. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports /

As luck would have it, I have a retro Sharks jersey. Obviously I wore this jersey to a bar to watch the game with friends, and stood out against the sea of black and gold. Thankfully this lucky jersey that I wore for Game 3 viewing worked its magic again for another victory.

The Sharks were not eliminated last night, but giving up 45+ shots on goal is hardly a formula for winning three in a row. Therefore I am still largely resigned to the idea that my last images of briefly living in Pittsburgh will be the agony of watching the Penguins celebrate another Stanley Cup. It’s a worst case scenario come true.

The Penguins dropping Game 5 at home when the city had already presumed victory takes a little bit of the sting off. I’ll break out the lucky jersey again on Saturday for Game 6, but with measured expectations. Because any way you look at it, being a Flyers fan in Pittsburgh right now really stinks.

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