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Bryzness Casual: Top 9 Quotes From Former Flyers Goaltender

By Collin Coyne

EDMONTON, ALBERTA - SEPTEMBER 11: A hockey net sits on the ice prior to the arm-ups and the game between the New York Islanders and the Tampa Bay Lightning in Game Three of the Eastern Conference Final during the 2020 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at Rogers Place on September 11, 2020 in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)
EDMONTON, ALBERTA - SEPTEMBER 11: A hockey net sits on the ice prior to the arm-ups and the game between the New York Islanders and the Tampa Bay Lightning in Game Three of the Eastern Conference Final during the 2020 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at Rogers Place on September 11, 2020 in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images) /
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Former Philadelphia Flyers goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov is many things. A Stanley Cup Champion. A space enthusiast. A man arguably a little too into Siberian Huskies. Paid by the Flyers until 2026-27. And let me first say, all of these things are true.

However, most importantly, the man is one of the most amazing quote factories that has ever existed, so let’s take a trip down memory lane to definitively rank the top 9 of Ilya Bryzgalov’s greatest quotes.

Why 9? Because that’s how many years the Flyers signed him for back in 2011.

So, without further ado, Bryz.

NUMBER 9

“They don’t have goalie gear, but they still gotta block the shot. Who is crazier, me? Or defenseman? Who is weirder?”

During the HBO 24/7 Winter Classic special in 2012, Bryzgalov went out of his way to insist that the defensemen that played in front of him were in fact, crazier than the goalies. To be fair to Bryz, one of those defensemen he was talking about was Chris Pronger, a man famous for not exactly shying away from physicality. Still, when talking about weirdness, it’s hard to find many stranger than Ilya.

NUMBER 8

“I don’t know what this is. I do not order this. Just. Duck.”

This quote was during his time playing for the Anaheim Ducks, in a promotional video where the then starter Jean-Sebastian Giguere and Bryz showed off their masks. Bryz’s mask was adorned with famous ducks, like Daffy and Donald, with each of his explanations having a fantastic one-liner of their own, but the one that takes the cake was his comment on the forehead design. The “just duck” was the incredibly famous Mighty Ducks duck goalie mask put plainly across the forehead, but a baffled Bryz clearly had no idea what to say about his mask designer’s unsolicited addition but filled the silence in classic Bryz fashion.

NUMBER 7

“Great news, I’m not playing tomorrow night. Good news, we have a chance to win the game.”

When being interviewed by a number of media outlets about whether he or backup Sergei Bobrovsky would be starting the upcoming winter classic, Bryz laid down these immortal words that today feel emblematic of his time in Philadelphia. Despite the hefty paycheck and long-term deal, Bryz never really delivered on what was promised, and tensions flared between him and the media. Still, even when completely demoralized, he still found a way to make it fun. I just hope the tea and his thermos were as enjoyable as he made them sound.

NUMBER 6

“My husky, basically, she’s a hot girl man”

During HBO’s 24/7 coverage, Bryz got caught up talking to teammate Harry Zolnierczyk about the fur and eye color of his two pet Siberian Huskies. I don’t have much else to say about this one, though I will add, Sergei Bobrovsky’s sheepish reaction is hilarious to watch.

NUMBER 5

“I don’t wanna play goalie no more. Can I sit in the office accepting calls like, ‘Hello’. 1-800 let me transfer to a different department” 

During the HBO 24/7, he was asked if he loved being a goalie. After originally answering with an emphatic “yes” he seemingly launches into a stand-up comedy routine about his desire to work a normal office job. I for one am infinitely happy he decided against it.

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