Porter Martone, Philadelphia's newest favorite baby boy, made a shocking admission to The Players Tribune, and it is not that he liked Sidney Crosby growing up. He has never had a cheesesteak!
There are roughly three things people who aren't from Philadelphia know about the city:
1. Go Birds
2. Rocky
3. Cheesesteaks
And you are telling me the Flyers most exciting prospect has never had one? Not once? Someone needs to change this immediately. He asks for fans to tell him where to get a cheesesteak, so Porter, here we go.
Anywhere. Go ANYWHERE. The pizza or sandwich place on the corner? Their cheesesteak slaps. You want the best cheesesteak in Philly? Go to Woodrows or Angelos. Want to be recognized by fans? Go to the famous places like Pat's, Geno's, or anywhere on South Street. Don't have time and want something really fast and really mediocre? Try Wawa or concessions before the game. Want something exceptionally expensive and bougie? That is the Barclay Prime Cheesesteak with wagyu, truffles, and foie gras. They'll even throw in a bottle of champagne to complete the experience. Truly, and I say this with my full chest, there are no bad options.
Philadelphians are very opinionated, which I know is brand new information to you, but about nothing more than cheesesteaks. Everyone has their favorite place and they will trash the one you say is your favorite. Speaking personally, I haven't lived in the Philly metro area in five years and would gleefully inhale a steak from Geno's even though I think they are terrible cheesesteaks. There is nothing worse than a Philly Cheesesteak outside of Philadelphia. In all seriousness, the best cheesesteak I have found down here is from Jersey Mike's, send help.
Buddy, trust me. You will be totally fine getting a good cheesesteak down the block where you get pizza. But there are things I need you to consider.
What makes a sandwich a Philly Cheesesteak
At its most basic level, a Philly Cheesesteak is bread, steak, and cheese. The hoagie roll has to have a nice crust on the outside and be soft on the inside. This very first step is where Atlanta goes wrong, bread sucks down here. Next, the steak. It is a cheap cut and it will likely be chopped down to beautifully caramelized pieces. Then cheese, and there are options. My preference is American Cheese because I like how it melts down, and I always get extra cheese. Cheesesteak truthers will tell you that Cheez Wiz is the only cheese type of product that belongs on a cheesesteak. I like a good Wiz steak, but it's not my favorite. Provolone is also an acceptable option, I just don't like it.
Onions are encouraged, but they are not for everyone so get it "wit or witout" - wit is with onions, witout is, well you get it. Either way, spectacular cheesesteak.
Please make note of what I did not mention. Peppers. Not only would I like to send bell peppers straight to the depths of hell where they emerged from, but I would sound an alarm any time a bell pepper comes close to a cheesesteak. That is midwestern behavior and I cannot abide by it.
Acceptable variations on the classic cheesesteak
This is where we get to have some fun with the winning formula of bread, steak, cheese, and sometimes onions. You can safely get a chicken cheesesteak and have a fully authentic experience. The chicken will rarely be dry, and if it is just add more cheese. To me, those are the only two options, but others will disagree.
The pizza steak is a cheesesteak with pizza sauce and mozzarella instead of the options above. A cheesesteak hoagie is a cheesesteak with lettuce and tomatoes, sometimes mayo. It's not technically a cold sandwich, but it has cold elements. That's it, those are the only passable options and they're barely there.
You have options. You have resources. You have an entire fan base that would personally volunteer to escort you to their favorite spot and explain, loudly, why everyone else’s favorite spot is wrong. Porter, you are in Philadelphia now, it is time to become a Philadelphian.
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